Love Octagon?
by heheheL
Summary: Pansy likes Draco. Draco likes Ginny. Ginny likes Harry. Harry likes Gabriel Delacour. Gabriel likes Ron. Ron likes Hermione. Hermione likes Krum. Teenagers' love life. So complicated. Wait...what's that? SNAPE! What's HE doing? DISCONTINUED.
1. Chapter 1

**LOVE TRIA…OCTAGON?**

A/N: This is my first ever HP fic. So be kind on me. All reviews accepted, including flames (I find them funny).

As for the storyline, it came to me while I was supposed to be studying. And since I am not really into the romance and mushy-mushy stuff, I will concentrate on the humour genre. BUT it also depends on how you guys like it. So that means…you have to REVIEW.

The timeline is after Voldemort dies (don't ask me how, that's for J.K. Rowling to decide).

The rating is PG-13 (to be safe and will remain that way)

DISCLAIMER: Okay. Fine. I admit it. I don't own Harry Potter (the story). Satisfied?

**CHAPTER 1**

"I will not do it," Snape hissed.

"Severus, my boy," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling madly. "You have to admit it's a brilliant plan."

"Brilliant plan on what?" Snape retorted. "Killing me prematurely? I can see the headlines already - 'TEENAGERS SUCEED WHERE THE DARK LORD HIMSELF FAILED'."

"Now, now," Dumbledore said as if speaking with a petulant 5-year old. "Have I ever asked you to do something that would endanger your life?"

Snape simply looked at him in disbelief.

"There it is settled then," Dumbledore said happily. "Come on, Severus, it can't be that bad."

One look at the man sitting in front of him showed Dumbledore that Snape certainly thought it was that bad. He looked positively ashen, like a man awaiting his impending and inevitable doom.

Dumbledore quietly slipped out, escaping, before hell broke loose, leaving Fawkes, the phoenix, to deal with it. It wouldn't be nice to die _now_ of all times. It wouldn't be nice at all.

A head poked out from underneath a chair. It slowly turned its head to take in the damage of the once impeccably clean office. Its eyes soon fell on the source of the destruction.

He was slumped on one of the few chairs that were still miraculously left undamaged. His face was obscured by the fact that he was resting his head on his hands which was further hidden by a curtain of long black hair.

Fawkes deemed it was safe enough to come out and flew and perched on to top of a lamp on the wall. It then ruffled out the dust in his feathers and preened it back meticulously.However, it soon grew tense and went still when Snape slowly looked up.

Snape smiled dryly.

"What exactly does it take for your meddling old dotard of a master to stop meddling?" he asked not unaffectionately.

Fawkes slowly relaxed and stared fixedly at him.

"I guess I was being far too hopeful in that aspect," Snape said slowly, looking at Fawkes' 'You ARE dumb expression.'

He then snorted.

"What is the world coming to?" Snape muttered to himself. "Me? Hopeful? Birds have _expressions_? Since when?"

Then something large landed on his head.

"Fine…you are not just_any_ bird," Snape said, rolling his eyes.

Fawkes flew away, appeased, for now.

"Maybe the war did something to him," Snape continued musing, "He is rather old after all."

"For Merlin's sake," Dumbledore said, in the adjacent room, looking disgruntled. "I am not _that_ old."

Snape gave a long suffering sigh. Then suddenly, his face… You could almost see the his brain mechanics working overtime.

"Interesting," he mumbled.

Fawkes cocked his head.

"You know Fawkes," he said slowly. "I think I am looking at in the wrong way."

Dumbledore froze. Was Snape really…_considering_ it?

"Let me see," Snape said, his smirk falling in place like it belonged there. "Four out of eight happen to be…Gryffindors."

Snape's eyes glinted.

"What do you think Fawkes?" he asked. "Countless hours of tormenting, sorry, I mean, _torturing_ Gryffindors – sounds like fun, doesn't it?"

If Fawkes had an eyebrow, it would have been a mile high.

In the other room, Dumbledore smacked his forehead.

"Why, oh, why did I _have _to meddle?"

"Potter, Granger, Weasley 6 and 7, Delacour, Parkinson, Malfoy," Snape barked.

There was immediate nudging and whispering.

"Weasley 6?" Malfoy sneered. "I suppose that is the only way to keep track of them all. The way they breed!" Malfoy continued, shuddering with disgust.

Both the said Weasley and his best-friend, Potter, lunged at him.

"That's enough!" Snape growled. "20 points from Gryffindor and it will be 50 if you don't come here by the time I count to five."

They sprinted over.

"Good to see that you possess some amount of basic motor skills," he said looking pointedly at the Gryffindors.

"Professor, may I enquire as to why we are here?" Gabriel asked.

"You may," he replied curtly.

One minute passed. Gabriel looked confused. Hermione looked about to speak when Snape shot her a look. Hermione was effectively silenced. Others were staring at their feet.

Five minutes passed. Gabriel looked _really _confused. Others were shuffling their feet.

Snape continued looking at them impassively.

Suddenly Gabriel's face cleared.

"Why _are_ we here, Professor?" she asked.

"Ms Delacour," Snape said in his most disgusted voice. "I do believe that the term 'dumb blond' was specifically meant for you."

"Just answer the question, Snape," Potter growled.

"Patience is a virtue, Potter," he smirked. "Something that is clearly beyond your grasp. 5 points from Gryffindor."

Potter looked about to explode when Granger stepped on his foot.

"I am here to inform you that from now on, I am your…counselor," he said as if it pained him. "So if you have any life-threatening problem or are _traumatized_ by the Final Battle, please do drop by my office."

With that Snape left them with a trademark billowing of robes leaving behind 7 _flabbergasted_ teenagers, openly gaping at him.

"By the way, it was Dumbledore's idea," Snape called out.

A/N Done at last. Please review.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Exams and school just left me with no time to update. But seriously, I swear I'll slap myself if I don't update at least once a week (notice I didn't say how hard I'll hit myself).**

**And those of you who reviewed, THANKS, YOU GUYS. I got some really great ones. ****Those of you who haven't, PLEASE DO.**

**So, shall we?**

**CHAPTER 2**

"It is not that bad, Ron," Hermione said in her most sensible manner.

" 'Mione, it's SNAPE we are talking about," Ron said incredulously. "If Dumbledore expects us to go to that git and divulge all our secrets, he can hope for an invitation to the marriage of Trelawney and the giant squid."

"Honestly, Ron," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "It's not like Professor Snape _wants_ to hear about your petty problems or your love life. Or… rather the lack thereof it. He likes it as much as you do."

"Hermione…" Ron whined.

She cut him off before he could say anything further.

"For once, Ron, act your age. Look at Harry."

Ron swivelled his head to look at his best friend.

"Right…I see what you mean," he said slowly.

"Well," Hermione huffed. "At least he isn't whining or complaining about it."

"So, in your definition…err…banging the chair on the wall until it completely falls apart, leaving only a piece of wood, which you still continue banging for ten minutes, is called…_mature_ behavior," Ron commented.

Hermione walked past him to the girls' dormitory.

-----

"Umm, mate?" Ron asked tentatively. "You okay?"

Sure, Ron," Harry replied cheerfully. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I dunno…maybe 'cause Snape is our-" Ron stopped, seeing the angry glint in Harry's eyes at the prior mentioned name. "Err…do you want another chair?"

Ron shoved another chair towards Harry.

Harry blinked.

"Whatever for, Ron?" he asked.

"Oookay…" Ron thought. "It's going to be a long night."

-----

After 3 hours, 2 more broken chairs and 1 very worn out carpet, Harry finally began to accept the fact that Severus Snape, Hogwarts' resident vampire (if you believe the rumors),greasy git, 10 times winner of Witch Weekly's 'Most Evil Smirk' award, bane of all Gryffindors, was his counsellor.

"We need a plan," Harry announced, still pacing the poor carpet.

"Huh?" Ron replied eloquently.

"A plan, Ron," Harry said, looking at Ron imploringly. "A _plan_."

"Ahhh," Ron said, slowly nodding his head before he frowned. "A plan to do what exactly?"

Harry gave a long-suffering sigh.

"A plan to make Snape regret ever accepting to be our counsellor, Ron," he said. "He will regret the day he first saw us after I am through with him."

"Harry, he did not _ask_ to be our counsellor." Ron said in his best Hermione imitation.

"I don't care," Harry said stubbornly. "He always tries to ruin our lives."

Ron was tempted to retort 'What life? We never _had_ a life.' However, he decided that won't be the best thing to say. He liked living whatever little life he had, thank you very much.

Instead, he asked, "So, do you have anything in mind?"

-----

Gabriel drew up her knees and vainly tried to disappear of the face of Earth.

"What must he think of me," she groaned.

However, she had a feeling of exactly what he thought of her. She had seen him, after all. She could still see him as clearly as if he was standing beside her in her mind's eye.

His messily endearing red hairhad fallenover his eyes. But that could not hide the pity in his ocean-blue eyes while his lips curled derisively.

"I am a pathetic creature," she thought miserably. "He will never like me."

-----

"What do you think of all this, Draco?" Pansy asked, fluttering her eyelashes with a tilt of her head.

The said Draco Malfoy glanced at her, looking bored.

"Pansy, how many times do I have to ask you to _stop_ trying to flirt with me," he said. "I am in no mood to indulge you."

"Ahh…but you wouldn't mind _indulging_ with someone else," his traitorous voice inside his head commented. "Especially if that someone else happens to be a female red-haired Gryffindor."

Draco showed no outward emotion as he stood up, bid Pansy 'goodnight' and went to his Head Boy's Room.

If you were keen-sighted, you would notice that Draco's pale skin had a slight pink hue to him. Of course, Pansy was not, so she did not see anything out of the ordinary. To her it was just another cold rebuff by Draco.

However, all these rebuffs never meant her a thing as she was Pansy Parkinson, who at cradle was betrothed to Draco Malfoy. So, whether they hated it or not, nothing short of death could do apart their impending marriage as decreed by their parents. At least, that's what she was taught to believe.

-----

The first thing Hermione Granger noticed when she entered her Head Girl's Room was Ginny Weasley sprawled over her bed looking at a picture. When Hermione saw what picture she was looking at, she made a lunge for it and missed as Ginny's quidditch reflexes kicked in.

"So, you got over Krum, huh?" she asked.

Hermione simply groaned and covered her face with a pillow.

Ginny chuckled as she removed the pillow to reveal a very red Hermione.

"Come, spill," Ginny said that brooked no arguments.

Half an hour later, Ginny had finally squeezed all she could from Hermione.

"So what are you going to do about it?" she asked. "Does he like you?"

"I don't know for both questions," Hermione replied hesitatingly. "But I do know that…"

Ginny immediately pounced, "Know what?"

"Well…he did write to me in his previous letter that there is a chance that he might come to Hogwarts to coach the qudditch teams, especially since he got injured and can't play for a while." Hermione said.

"How big a chance?" Ginny asked, her eyes narrowed.

"100 percent chance?" Hermione squeaked as she saw the look on Ginny's face.

"WHAT?"

**A/N: So, guys, what do you think?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am sooooo sorry for taking so long to update. Its just that I lost my connection with with the story and had to review exactly where I wanted to go with it. As I have said before, I am not into romance.**

**But I knew I just had to go on for the sake of all those reviewed. I love you guys and keep reviewing. DON'T STOP. You guys make my day. On with the story!**

Chapter 3

"Hey, Snape," Harry called out.

"50 points from Gryffindor," Snape replied barely looking up from the script he was marking.

"What is wrong with you?" Harry exploded. "I haven't done anything to irritate you, yet!"

"Wrong again, Potter," Snape said, smirking. "You very presence irritates me. Not to mention you hereditary lack of respect for authority."

Harry forced himself to take deep, calming breaths when he looked behind and consecutively felt his jaw drop at the sight of Ron holding a "GO, HARRY!" poster. Feeling nothing short of self-disgust at actually attempting to talk to Prof. Snape, Harry turned back, forcing himself to ignore the scarlet poster.

"Alright," Harry said. "Let's play it your way then, Professor. You told us yesterday that we could see you for…ahem…counselling sessions."

"Mr Potter, at the very least, get to your point in this century. Unlike you, I do not suffer from short-term memory losses. I know what I said yesterday."

Harry had a great strain refraining himself from lunging at the Potions Master.

He replied, instead, "Glad to see that old age hasn't caught up with you, yet, Prof. Snape. But, anyway," Harry said hurrying along noticing Snape open his mouth for another cutting remark. "I want to err… well want you to… umm… counsellmethissaturdaywheneveryoneelseisinHogsmead."

"Excuse me?" Snape said with an arch of his eyebrow, finally looking up from his papers.

"I. Want. You. To. Counsel. Me. This. Saturday. When. Everyone. Else. Is. In. Hogsmead. How much _more humiliating _are you going to make this for me?" Harry said through gritted teeth.

Expensive designer robes - 100 galleons. State of the art broomstick - 10 000 galleons. Ancient ancestral mansion - 100 000 galleons. The look on Severus Snape's face when Harry Potter wanted him to counsel him - priceless.

Ron so wished desperately for a camera to take a photo of that _horrified_ expression on Snape's face.

"Potter," Snape said warily, like dealing with a mentally unstable man. "I am sure you are suffering from much emotional stress and whatever you teenagers feel at 17. However, you simply _cannot be that desperate_ to actually take my words seriously. It was meant rhetorically, Potter. Do you know what that means? It means that you are not actually _meant_ to come to me."

Harry had never seen Snape looking so ruffled and took great pleasure seeing his face go even more shocked (if that was possible) when he said, "Yeah, but you gave me an offer and I took it up. So you are stuck with counselling me."

The fateful Saturday came soon enough, but not without a slight event that made Harry almost forget his big appointment.

When Harry walked into the Great Hall with Hermione and Ron, he noticed Hermione being quieter than usual and wondered whether Ron told her about his meeting with Snape. He soon found out that she wasn't the only one who was quiet and it was not due to the impending meeting.

The Great Hall was silent, a drastic difference compared to the usual bustle and the reason for it sat in the teachers table.

It was Viktor Krum.

Harry turned to Hermione and said quietly, "You knew about this."

Hermione's nervous smile gave him all the confirmation he needed and geared himself up as he turned towards Ron.

"What in _blazes_ is he doing here?"

"I am pretty sure we'll find out soon enough, Ron," Harry said, nodding towards Headmaster Dumbledore who was rising to stand in the podium.

"Teachers and esteemed students… we have today a visitor, who though won't make up a permanent part of the faculty team, has honoured us by agreeing to be the Quidditch coach for the time being. Mr Filch wishes me to inform you that any crumpled parchment found in the floor containing - 'I love V.K." and hearts will be traced back to the owner who will in turn be given a months detention. He feels that he has seen enough parchment wasted the last time our visitor came to last him an entire lifetime's worth of letters. So please do try very hard to be environmentally conscious. Well that is all. On to breakfast!"

Breakfast did not turn out to be a very cheerful affair for Harry, what with a silent Hermione and fuming Ron beside him, although he still did not quite understand why they were like that.

Later, back in his dormitory, he wondered idly whether Snape would take on two more students to counsel. They seemed to need it.

Walking down to the Gryffindor Common Room, he was very surprised to find everyone still in there.

"Aren't they supposed to be in Hogsmead by now?" Harry wondered uneasily.

They seemed to all be staring at him with an unusually solemn expression on their faces. As he reached the painting he heard Ron's voice.

"Today we commemorate the day Harry Potter died. He has done much to the world, saving countless, including me. We will all be in his debt. His stroke of brilliance and luck will finally be ended by none other than the resident bat of Hogwarts, Severus Snape."

"Cut it out, guys," Harry said, a smile breaking out. "Don't worry. I'll come back in one piece. Go enjoy yourselves in Hogsmead."

As he finally walked out of the Common Room, he had one final thought.

"Yeah, I'll come out alive. If I don't go there at all."

**Pretty please, review?**


	4. Chapter 4

"Breathe in. Breathe out. No fear. This cannot be harder than defeating old Voldy. Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?" Harry thought dispiritedly.

He was outside Snape's office trying to find the famed Gryffindor courage that caused them to face difficulties with fortitude and hope even in the most impossible of situations. He could not find it.

He was about to admit defeat and run back to the safety and comfort of the Gryffindor Common Room when a condescending voice rang out through the solid wooden door.

"Doors can only be opened either physically or magically. Staring at them blankly is certainly not going to help you. And I thought 17 years of experience would have taught you that. Or perhaps I was wrong to have expected so much of you. After all, you are the boy-who-lived-to-stun-the-world-with-his-stupidity."

Harry gritted his teeth in frustration and anger. His mind now resolved, he pushed open the door violently. Snape watched him, musing to himself that he could almost see the air molecules sizzling at the heat of Potter's anger.

"Really, the boy is simply too easy," Snape thought, allowing himself a smirk.

Harry stormed in and sat in the chair opposite Snape's, folding his arms, and looking every bit the rebellious teenager.

"So eager are we to see Slytherin win the House Cup? Very well, I shall oblige you," Snape drawled. "15 points off Gryffindor."

Harry sighed. It was going to be a long day.

-----

Hermione walked briskly to towards the Great Hall. After Harry's 'funeral' she had to run to see Prof. McGonagall about an assignment and asked Ron to wait for her in the Hall. Thus, the reason for her hurrying.

"Hermione! Votch out!," a very familiar voice rang out.

After almost 7 years of Hogwarts-life, she knew when to duck and duck she did. She watched, with her face pressed to the floor, 3 blurs on broomsticks zooming past her and disappearing around the corner.

"I didn't think anyone would be in school...why aren't you in Hogsmeade?" Krum asked as he got off his broomstick and offered her his hand.

She took his hand and got up slowly, reluctant to let go of it. She looked up to meet his eyes and felt a tingle sweep across her body.

"Stop legs...I command you not to feel like jelly," Hermione ordered herself and let go of his hand abruptly.

"I was just going to go to Hogsmeade," Hermione said and felt proud when she did it without a tremor in her voice. "Why are they racing in the corridors? It is banned for a reason...someone could get hurt."

"Yeah...I know," Krum said sheepishly. "But I thought it would be good practice in maneuvering and didn't think anyone would still be here."

"So..."

"So..."

"Well, I have to run...Ron's waiting...so bye!" Hermione said in a rush and turned to run off when she was pulled back.

Hermione's breath hitched as she found herself flush against him.

"Are you and Ron together?" Krum asked with an intense look.

"Umm...no?"

Krum smiled widely and pulled Hermione even closer. Their lips looking to touch when Hermione, in a split second, turned to kiss his cheek and twisted herself out of his grasp and ran.

-----

She skidded around the corner to bang straight into Ron. He had the wierd scrunched up look on his face like as if he was trying to chew one of Hagrid's rock cakes.

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I thought you were going to wait for me in the Great Hall."

Ron attempted to smile but ended up simply looking as if he was going to be sick. He then turned and started walking briskly.

"Hurry up if you want to miss the crowd. Unless you no longer want to come of course."

"What are you talking about? Ofcourse I want to come!" she replied swiftly and hurried to catch up with him already guessing the reason for his odd behaviour and prayed for once that she was wrong.

-----

Harry stared at the man in front of him. The man he hated. The man whose life he wanted to make hell. The man who was marking innocent first-years's essays with viscious relish on his face as he slashed the parchment leaving a blood red line.

"That's it!" Harry fumed internally. "I am going to come up with the sappiest, most cutesy love story with sparkling rainbows and sugar-coated cookies. If that doesn't equate to torture, than I don't know what is!"

-----

**A/N : STORY IS DISCONTINUED. I'M SORRY GUYS. BUT SERIOUSLY, THIS STORY DOES NOTHING FOR ME. I DID IT IN A MOMENT OF ABSOLUTE CRAZINESS. I HATE ROMANCE AND ALL THE SAPPY-ILY REVOLTING THINGS THAT GO ALONG WITH IT. SO THOSE OF YOU WHO LIKE IT, I AM REALLY REALLY REALLY SORRY! REALLY! ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO REVIEWED. SO ONCE MORE, THANK YOU AND SORRY!**

**AUTHOR.**


End file.
